I hate asking for help. And the part of my brain that’s clinically trained and emotionally in tune recognizes this as flawed on many levels. However, fierce independence is deeply embedded into the fabric of who I am.Black woman. Raised by two fiercely independent parents in the Air Force. Staunch believer in the “hard work […]
‘Wherever you go, there you are.’ This is the title of a 2005 book by author, Jon Kabat-Zinn. At the time, I’d become increasingly interested in the concept of mindfulness. If you’re curious, as I was, you can read more about Kabat-Zinn’s book here: https://www.amazon.com/Wherever-You-There-Are-Mindfulness/dp/1401307787. For whatever reason, I found myself restless, in search of […]
Fanning love’s flame while grieving, though potentially beneficial, is exhausting. Trust me, I know. Just 6 years after my mom’s death, a year and a half after my Beagle’s passing, and 4 years into my transition to a new state, I met David. The year, 2018. Little did I know that just a year and […]
Have you ever considered the reality of grieving while Black? If you don’t identify as BIPOC, it’s like that you haven’t. In society, we often ascribe wide-sweeping assumptions about the grief process. As a result, we’re less able to take into account the reality that all grief is not created equal. Caitlin Forbes (https://www.baby1stnetwork.org/news/blog-how-do-we-address-black-grief-compounded-centuries-racism-loss-and-trauma) writes […]
Have you ever considered the impact of grief on relationships in your life? Remember being a kid and pinky swearing? Sometimes, it represented a guarantee of secrecy between friends. The pinky swear not only signified togetherness in the moment, but also a forever bond. While I often equated this to childhood, as an adult, I […]
Have you ever wondered how to decompress after experiencing a grief trigger? First things first. Let me define what ‘grief trigger’ means. A grief trigger is basically anything that sparks memories of a loss. It’s not uncommon to think of birthdays, anniversaries, the holiday season, or special events as triggers for grief. What may not […]
Let’s face it. Showing up for someone who’s grieving isn’t easy by any means. Grief is messy and complicated, as well as downright uncomfortable to sit in. The tendency to want to avoid the pain associated with grief is human and understandable. At the same time, doing so can create a situation in which the […]
This seems like such an obvious statement, right? When you’re alone, you may begin to experience feelings of loneliness. It makes perfect sense. Grieving alone can feel … well, lonely. First, let me acknowledge that this isn’t the case for every person who grieves. And of course, experiencing seasons of alone-ness as we grieve is […]
Years into my grief journey, I finally surrendered and let grief have its way. I think it was pure emotional and physical exhaustion that led me to that place, coupled with spiritual overwhelm. See, I’m a gifted fighter. My original coaches, Darnell and Patricia Harris (aka, Daddy & Mama), announced early on in my life […]
“Why don’t you just stop?” This was the hard question my ex-therapist asked me as I sat across the room from her with tears welling up in my eyes. “How rude!” I thought, especially since I was a relatively new griever, just one year shy of my mom’s death anniversary. I’d entered the therapy session, […]
