What does it mean to embrace slower rhythms, especially when we live in a world that reinforces busy-ness? First things first … let me be clear. I am a DO-ER. While I’d love to say I feel zen and relaxed throughout most of life’s ebbs and flows, unfortunately, it’s simply not true. I like the […]
Sometimes along the grief journey, you simply have to trust those around you. I learned this head-on after the death of my mom, when those closest to me recognized that I was falling apart. In my view, however, everything was “just fine.” Despite the fact that I’d walked straight into the darkest season of my […]
‘Wherever you go, there you are.’ This is the title of a 2005 book by author, Jon Kabat-Zinn. At the time, I’d become increasingly interested in the concept of mindfulness. If you’re curious, as I was, you can read more about Kabat-Zinn’s book here: https://www.amazon.com/Wherever-You-There-Are-Mindfulness/dp/1401307787. For whatever reason, I found myself restless, in search of […]
After experiencing a significant loss, have you ever asked the question: “What happens when my friendships die too?” Friend, I’ve always considered myself to be an extrovert … that is until I hit my mid-30s. At any rate, anyone who’s known me over the years would describe me as an outgoing person. As part of […]
The year, 2013. Just two months after awakening to discover my mom’s lifeless body next to me and my brother, I stood before a class of academically hungry doctoral students. My role, Associate Professor. Each breath I took seemed insurmountable and forced in that moment. The problem? I was leading while grieving. Before I share […]
Fanning love’s flame while grieving, though potentially beneficial, is exhausting. Trust me, I know. Just 6 years after my mom’s death, a year and a half after my Beagle’s passing, and 4 years into my transition to a new state, I met David. The year, 2018. Little did I know that just a year and […]
Have you ever considered the reality of grieving while Black? If you don’t identify as BIPOC, it’s like that you haven’t. In society, we often ascribe wide-sweeping assumptions about the grief process. As a result, we’re less able to take into account the reality that all grief is not created equal. Caitlin Forbes (https://www.baby1stnetwork.org/news/blog-how-do-we-address-black-grief-compounded-centuries-racism-loss-and-trauma) writes […]
Have you ever considered the role of faith in the face of grief? Prayer and faith, as it pertains to grief, can be a tricky territory, I know. Faith is a multidimensional and layered muscle that is influenced by a host of things. For instance, family upbringing, trauma exposure, grief and loss, and community play […]
Have you ever considered the role of the 5 love languages in grief? Equally as important, are you even aware of the love languages? If not, let me offer a bit of context. Dr. Gary Chapman outlined five primary ways people feel cared for in his landmark book, “The Five Love Languages.” Here’s a link […]
In 2013, another question my therapist asked was “Mekel, what do you think about unleashing the power of movement in grief? Hmmm … I hadn’t really considered how the two might be connected at that point in my grief journey. After my mom died in late 2012, and my body began sending non-stop signals in […]
