October 25, 2021
First things first … let me be clear. I am a DO-ER. While I’d love to say I feel zen and relaxed throughout most of life’s ebbs and flows, unfortunately, it’s simply not true. I like the idea of being proactive, predicting ways to help myself along life’s windy path.
And don’t get me wrong. A part of each of us needs to DO. We’re wired to DO. As a faith-filled believer in Christ, I cling to the scriptures that note God’s DOING, as part of the creation story. I see the ways Jesus DID throughout his short-lived ministry, blessing and leading others. There’s nothing inherently wrong with doing.
If I’ve learned anything throughout my 46 years of living, I know that doing won’t save you. It won’t prevent life’s valley moments. It doesn’t fulfill our deepest longings.
Every fiber of my being, nevertheless, wishes it did. Wouldn’t this make life so much easier?
If you’re not familiar with my story, 2012, as well as the years that followed, rocked me to the core. After a sudden stage IV pancreatic cancer diagnosis, my mom died just 30 days later. I responded in the only way I knew at the time … doing. More work. Busy-ness. A full schedule. A mixture of grief avoidance and habit, I continued to DO. Unfortunately, my doing didn’t halt the flow of pain associated with my loss.
An astute therapist propelled me into a new season of ‘relaxing into the pain of my grief,’ something I’d never considered up to that point. (FYI, if you’d like to read a copy of my memoir by the same name, you can snag a copy here: https://www.amazon.com/Relaxing-Into-Pain-Journey-Beyond/dp/1512747084).
It was a novel thought, for sure. At the time, however, I knew I needed to try something new.
Maybe you need to schedule down time in your calendar. Or perhaps you might benefit from sharing your struggles with an accountability partner. Finally, you may explore meditative and mindfulness practices that sound interesting.
Though society pushes us towards and reinforces doing, there’s no much beauty in simply being. What a beautiful act of loyalty towards oneself!
I hope you’ll open your mind and hear to this truth.
As always I’d love to hear what you think. Please leave a comment below.
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