I hate asking for help. And the part of my brain that’s clinically trained and emotionally in tune recognizes this as flawed on many levels. However, fierce independence is deeply embedded into the fabric of who I am.Black woman. Raised by two fiercely independent parents in the Air Force. Staunch believer in the “hard work […]
‘Wherever you go, there you are.’ This is the title of a 2005 book by author, Jon Kabat-Zinn. At the time, I’d become increasingly interested in the concept of mindfulness. If you’re curious, as I was, you can read more about Kabat-Zinn’s book here: https://www.amazon.com/Wherever-You-There-Are-Mindfulness/dp/1401307787. For whatever reason, I found myself restless, in search of […]
Fanning love’s flame while grieving, though potentially beneficial, is exhausting. Trust me, I know. Just 6 years after my mom’s death, a year and a half after my Beagle’s passing, and 4 years into my transition to a new state, I met David. The year, 2018. Little did I know that just a year and […]
Have you ever considered the role of faith in the face of grief? Prayer and faith, as it pertains to grief, can be a tricky territory, I know. Faith is a multidimensional and layered muscle that is influenced by a host of things. For instance, family upbringing, trauma exposure, grief and loss, and community play […]
Have you ever considered the role of the 5 love languages in grief? Equally as important, are you even aware of the love languages? If not, let me offer a bit of context. Dr. Gary Chapman outlined five primary ways people feel cared for in his landmark book, “The Five Love Languages.” Here’s a link […]
Friend, have you ever thought about the gift that resides in the mundane rhythms of life? The regular trips to the grocery store. Folding the laundry. Tending to the yard. Sitting in that chair staring at the same scene day after day. If you’re anything like me, the all-too-familiar aspects of life can seem boring. […]
Let’s face it. Asking the tough questions — whether about ourselves, others, or events in our lives — is hard. 2012 proved to be the year that I began asking them. It was the year my mom died 30 days after being diagnosed with stage IV pancreatic cancer. Just 30 days! Questions flooded my mind […]
This seems like such an obvious statement, right? When you’re alone, you may begin to experience feelings of loneliness. It makes perfect sense. Grieving alone can feel … well, lonely. First, let me acknowledge that this isn’t the case for every person who grieves. And of course, experiencing seasons of alone-ness as we grieve is […]
Years into my grief journey, I finally surrendered and let grief have its way. I think it was pure emotional and physical exhaustion that led me to that place, coupled with spiritual overwhelm. See, I’m a gifted fighter. My original coaches, Darnell and Patricia Harris (aka, Daddy & Mama), announced early on in my life […]
“Why don’t you just stop?” This was the hard question my ex-therapist asked me as I sat across the room from her with tears welling up in my eyes. “How rude!” I thought, especially since I was a relatively new griever, just one year shy of my mom’s death anniversary. I’d entered the therapy session, […]
