I hate asking for help. And the part of my brain that’s clinically trained and emotionally in tune recognizes this as flawed on many levels. However, fierce independence is deeply embedded into the fabric of who I am.Black woman. Raised by two fiercely independent parents in the Air Force. Staunch believer in the “hard work […]
Have you ever considered the reality of grieving while Black? If you don’t identify as BIPOC, it’s like that you haven’t. In society, we often ascribe wide-sweeping assumptions about the grief process. As a result, we’re less able to take into account the reality that all grief is not created equal. Caitlin Forbes (https://www.baby1stnetwork.org/news/blog-how-do-we-address-black-grief-compounded-centuries-racism-loss-and-trauma) writes […]
Grief takes you here, there, and everywhere. The day I realized just how much grief had thrust me into a whirlwind, I’d already hit rock bottom. Roughly 8 months following my mom’s death, I traveled from LA to Washington, D.C. for a business meeting. The airplane, minimally full, provided the perfect cocoon for me to […]
Let’s face it. Asking the tough questions — whether about ourselves, others, or events in our lives — is hard. 2012 proved to be the year that I began asking them. It was the year my mom died 30 days after being diagnosed with stage IV pancreatic cancer. Just 30 days! Questions flooded my mind […]
This seems like such an obvious statement, right? When you’re alone, you may begin to experience feelings of loneliness. It makes perfect sense. Grieving alone can feel … well, lonely. First, let me acknowledge that this isn’t the case for every person who grieves. And of course, experiencing seasons of alone-ness as we grieve is […]
Years into my grief journey, I finally surrendered and let grief have its way. I think it was pure emotional and physical exhaustion that led me to that place, coupled with spiritual overwhelm. See, I’m a gifted fighter. My original coaches, Darnell and Patricia Harris (aka, Daddy & Mama), announced early on in my life […]
“Why don’t you just stop?” This was the hard question my ex-therapist asked me as I sat across the room from her with tears welling up in my eyes. “How rude!” I thought, especially since I was a relatively new griever, just one year shy of my mom’s death anniversary. I’d entered the therapy session, […]
Yes, I said it! STOP relying on your partner … to meet all your needs as you grieve. Before you stop reading, please let me share a quick story. After my dad died last year, my sweet partner, David, put his work to the side in order to fly to Texas and spend two uninterrupted […]
