May 10, 2021
“Routine is rather like the egg whites in a batter: it imparts little flavor, but it holds everything together.” — Josiah Bancroft
Experiencing a significant loss opens your eyes to see many things, including just how lopsided your life has become. From learning how to live life apart from a loved one to exploring newfound rhythms to experiencing unpredictable shifts, grief is unsettling.
I remember exactly where I was in March 2020 when news aired about COVID-19’s deadly appearance in the U.S. And just as I began to wrap my mind around the country’s lockdown, my dad fell seriously ill, landed in ICU, and died just one week later. This occurred against an already existent grief-filled landscape.
Following my dad’s death, I grasped for some semblance of ‘normal.’ My spirit, mind, and body, each out of sync in its own way, wrestled day and night to achieve balance … or at least, a shift in the direction towards balance.
Little did I know I’d make some interesting discoveries along the way, primarily about my ordinary days and extraordinary challenges within them. The most important discovery — actually, re-discovery … was the importance of routine.
Yes, the ‘r’ word we sometimes hate. However, please bear with me for a moment.
Routine, while imparting little flavor, helped me hold things together along the grief journey.
You may be reading this thinking, ‘Man, I hate routines.’ I get that. And I hope you know the routines I speak of here are not rigid activity-filled days. On the contrary, they’re the bare minimum. They’re what I like to call ‘anchor points’ — moments you can look to throughout the day to help anchor you in the present and encourage you to consider the future.
It’s a tricky dance in the grief world, I know. Grief is complicated as is, and the thought of adding anything to the mix can feel unbearable.
So as you consider routine, be gentle with yourself. It’s about taking small, yet meaningful, steps to live in the face of loss.
Friend, I challenge you to take a few moments to jot down how you might sprinkle a little routine into your day. You may be surprised by what you discover. Or re-discover.
I’d love to hear from you.
If you’re interested in learning more about managing your lifestyle, love, leadership, and loyalties to God, self, and others, click here: https://mekelharrisphd.com/.