March 18, 2021
OK, first let me explain …
Grief is exhausting. And overwhelming. It can also be all-consuming, if we’re not careful. Trust me, I know.
Early in the morning on December 9, 2012, my beloved mom died as a result of stage IV pancreatic cancer, and my world crumbled. Well, sort of. I dove right back into work, attempting to convince myself that grief wouldn’t catch up to me. I did “the things” I was supposed to do, like show up to events and smile as if everything was OK. After taking a short break, I even continued to serve clients in private practice. From the outside looking in, my world looked perfect.
You already know where this is going. Looks are sometimes deceiving. I was 100% NOT OK.
And the “funny” thing is I just continued to press ahead. Call it stubborn will, stupidity, or complete denial … I simply didn’t know what else to do.
After a certain amount of time, however, I began to notice that I’d not only experienced the death of my mom, but also friends who couldn’t bear the weight of my ever-so-growing irritability. My brother and I experienced a significant loss to our family structure, with our mom always serving as the deep well for family ins-and-outs, contact information, and history. I also suffered the loss of my health for a season, namely unexplained inflammation and fatigue, as well as insomnia. And most strikingly, I began to lose myself.
Who was I without my mom? What purpose did my life serve now? Apart from doing the day-to-day things I had to do, what else mattered?
Frankly, I hadn’t anticipated the host of losses I’d suffer on the heels of my mom’s death.
Years into my grief journey, I knew I needed to sit in and with my grief.
Regardless, I began to do it anyway.
I didn’t have a choice. The way I saw it, I would either continue down the path I was walking, with all of its heaviness. Or I’d examine the ripple effects of grief head-on. Either way, things would be messy and complicated.
So I got messy. Things got (even more) complicated at times. And, here I am.
Almost 9 years later, I’m living a re-imagined life … one I thought couldn’t exist without my mom. I still cry, and I laugh. I live in a state I thought I’d never live in. My world includes some new friends now, as well as those from the distant past. I’m more open and curious about the world and its happenings. I’ve braved challenges with courage at every turn.
What about YOU?
Are you ready to re-imagine what life can look like after experiencing loss? It might be the death of a loved one, like me, or the ending of a relationship. Maybe it’s the loss of a job.
Friend, whatever you’ve faced, know there is LIFE TO BE LIVED in the here-and-now.
I’d love to help you walk through the process of re-imagining things!
Click here, and afterwards, let’s chat: https://mekelharrisphd.com/courses
I know what it’s like to feel stuck in grief’s tight grip. And my greatest desire is for you to begin the work today to help you live fully in the here-and-now.
As always, let me know what you think. I LOVE connecting and growing deeper in community!