Losing a furry friend can lead to intense grief and sorrow.

Unfortunately, I know this truth all too well. Summer 2017 struck another emotional blow as I made the decision to euthanize my beloved Beagle, Hunter. He’d been my constant companion for 15.5 years, having relocated twice across the country. As I faced health challenges, both prior to and after my mom’s death in 2012, Hunter delicately lay next to me. It was as if he instinctually knew that I needed to be soothed.

The tricky part was actually acknowledging the depth of my pain following Hunter’s death. See in a society where household pets are viewed as ‘just animals,’ I found it challenging to share my feelings openly with others. Even in circles with others who loved their fur babies, it was difficult for me to express the incredible void left after Hunter died. He truly was my best friend.

Can you relate, my friend?

The toughest battle I faced for several months after Hunter’s death was the deafening silence in my home. Each day, I did everything I could to avoid going home. I worked late. Sat in my car for hours and ate dinner. Walked the mall until closing time. I just couldn’t stomach the reality that I’d no longer hear the rattle of his collar, his bark, or the sound of fresh water streaming from his mouth at dinnertime.

Years after Hunter died, I realized that losing a furry friend, like other types of losses, can lead to shifts in your identity.

I’d identified myself as a ‘dog mom’ for over 15 years. Friends and family recognized this as a primary identity, given that I had no biological children. Hunter’s death forced me to explore and expand other parts of my identify. Nevertheless, his dying didn’t result in my shifting things overnight. As with any type of loss, it was a gradual process filled with ebbs and flows, acceptance and overwhelm.

The American Veterinary Medical Association (AVMA) offers excellent strategies for coping with the loss of a pet. Click here to read the full article.

Of special importance is being patient with and kind to yourself as you grieve. Your pet, like my Hunter, played a significant role in your family. It makes sense that you’ll wrestle to regain your emotional footing after experiencing loss. This process will last for as long as it takes, and that’s perfectly normal.

Two questions I asked myself after Hunter died include:

• In what ways can I honor Hunter’s life moving forward? Asking this reminded me of the need to keep going. Though I wanted to wallow in sorrow, I knew it was important for me to continue living. I continue to honor him through my daily walks, writing about my love for him, and continuing to spread awareness about life after loss.

• Where did I find joy before Hunter came into my life? Grief can be all-consuming. And it’s so easy to forget what brought you joy prior to having a pet. Taking time to remember this helped me identify healthy coping strategies and allowed me to tap into forgotten creative parts of myself.

Friend, I challenge you to ask yourself these (and other) questions as you grieve. You’ll likely be surprised at what comes to mind.

Losing a furry friend creates a void in the space your pet previously filled.

Little by little, day by day, however, do your best to show up for yourself. Ask for help. And lean into the love shared with your pet. Remember … love never dies.

Be sure to share your thoughts below.

XOXO,

M

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