‘Christmas, Christmas time is near … time for joy and time for cheer …’ always rings in my ear this time of year.

Growing up, I loved Alvin and the Chipmunks, and this was one of my favorite songs. To be honest, it still tickles me to hear Dave scream, “Alvin!!!!” throughout the song.

Christmas time is near and with it comes time spent with loved ones, wonderful eats and treats, and special memories from the near and distant past. And while the specifics of the season may fade over time, the emotional ties to Christmas — the memories, good, bad, or indifferent — remain strong. This can lead many, including me, to experience feelings of nostalgia.

As I consider this time of joy and cheer, I feel sentimental about childhood moments spent fighting sleep on Christmas Eve in order to experience Santa’s deliveries in person. In addition, I remember family time spent bowling on the Wii and sitting on my dad’s staircase singing a Christmas duet with him in full holiday regalia.

Yes, there is much joy and cheer attached to the Christmas season.

At the same time, Christmas 2020 brings with it an 8-year-long ache for my mom and a newfound one for my dad, both of whom are now deceased. On top of that, I can’t help but think about others who may be wrestling with feelings of sadness and loneliness associated with living life in the midst of a pandemic, all the while facing typical day-to-day stressors.

Christmas, Christmas time is near …

Just the other day, I found myself in conversation with a woman in the grocery store about how difficult the upcoming holiday would be. She reflected on the challenge of being exposed to images of celebrations on TV, particularly because she wouldn’t be able to visit family in a different state. And her discontent made perfect sense. It’s not uncommon for us to feel like everyone else is celebrating throughout the Christmas season when we feel alone. Unfortunately, COVID-19 has done nothing to temper somber emotions as we prepare for the holiday.

The interaction with her challenged me to consider ways to uplift not only others, but also myself. Here are a few simple ways to help brighten the holiday season …

• SEND A CARD OR LETTER. Whether it’s a card/letter to yourself or someone else, there is power in your words. In the years shortly after my mom’s death, I was intentional about mailing myself a letter of encouragement, particularly around tough anniversaries or sentimental days. One year, I sent one that arrived on Mother’s Day, as a reminder of the strength of my mom’s character. On the other hand, if it’s a card or letter to someone else, consider what might be most meaningful — a word of encouragement, a memorable quote or significant event, or a heartfelt message filled with hope. This simple gesture may be just what you or the person need. And the Christmas season may be just the perfect time!

• SPEND SOME QUALITY TIME. We tend to underestimate the value of spending time with ourselves. What does this even look like, you might ask? Well, maybe it’s setting aside time to read a favorite book or take a long drive. Or, if you’re like me throughout the Christmas season, it could be spending time decorating your home or listening to uplifting and festive music. Although it’s a lot of work, I’ve loved walking through my home and seeing the ways the Christmas tree lights glisten against my windows. Whatever you decide, choosing you in the midst of the holiday can uplift you in ways you may not have imagined. If thinking of others, schedule time to give family and friends a phone call or set up a Zoom meeting. Being able to connect with others, even if from afar, is better than not connecting at all. Remember, we’re wired for connection. Who can you follow-up with today?

• EXTEND HELP. First, help yourself. Think about it! It’s nearly impossible to fill up other’s tanks when your own tank is empty. Take a moment to gift yourself with a dose of grace. These days, that means allowing myself to wake up naturally and honor my body’s need for rest. It means saying ‘no’ to people and things that will take up too much of my emotional energy, which I’ve had a shortage of in recent months. What might this look like for you? With regard to others, you might consider ways to serve. Perhaps you call a neighbor on your way to the grocery store and ask if she/he needs anything. Or maybe you decide to volunteer for a cause you’re passionate about. Whatever the case, helping others can sometimes afford us great perspective and offer the fuel needed to keep moving forward along our own journey.

Christmas, Christmas time is near …

Friend, if you’re grieving the loss of a loved one this Christmas season, you are not alone. If you’re feeling alone, challenged by life in a pandemic, I see you. And if sadness is overriding joy and cheer, that’s understandable.

2020 hasn’t been kind to us in so many ways. However, you’re still here, with just a few days left in the year.

I challenge you to both honor your feelings and explore (perhaps) new ways of moving through the Christmas season. Will you feel joy and cheer? Maybe not. You will, however, be taking steps to improve your emotional well-being and ability to more healthily navigate the holiday.

I’d love to hear your take-aways …

XOXO,

M.

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