Have you ever focused on what you think you lack in life?

Perhaps a relationship or marriage. The big house. A huge social network. Children. Career accomplishments. A fancy car.

If I’m 100% honest, I could scream a resounding, “Yes!” to this question. At varying points in my life, I’ve found myself peering into other’s lives thinking, “I sure wish I had that!”

I remember one season of my life, shortly after a relocation from Texas to California, when I felt particularly lacking. In my early 30s at the time, I would’ve never described myself as boring or homely. Yet when I arrived in California, perhaps related to the glitz and shine I observed around me, I felt less than. There I was … a single, average-dressing LA transplant earning a monthly salary that left my bank account crying out for deposits on an all-too-often basis.

I wanted more money.

More friends.

Nicer clothes.

Male attention.

And I feverishly pursued all of my wants for a few years, only to realize that the pursuit still left me yearning for more.

On top of that, I not only landed myself in massive credit card debt, but also realized that my dating and friendship circles, though wide, weren’t deep.

It was a depressing cycle that left me feeling empty inside. Financially and emotionally broken. And lonely.

All I could think about was what I thought I lacked in life.

Through grace that only a divine God could offer, I connected with a colleague whose perspective was similar to mine. Over the course of several months, she and I met for coffee on a weekly basis and shared our stories, desperately attempting to understand what was happening in our lives. And gradually, we began to dismantle the lies we’d believed far too long.

Without realizing it, we’d been observing smokescreens. Hype with no backed reality. Highlight reels on social media. Filtered experiences with dozens of ‘takes’ behind-the-scenes.

After years of complaining, comparison, and crying, we discovered that we lacked nothing.

As a matter of fact, the discovery unearthed a host of blessings right in front of us. For me, it was my relationship with God. Long-standing and deep rooted friendships around the country. Physical health. A loving and supportive family. And so much more!

Answering the question: “What do you lack in life?” became easier with each passing day. Simply put, nothing.

Needless to say, my life in LA shifted after those first two years. When I adjusted my thinking from a place of lack to a space focused on gratitude, life began to change. Most notably, I opened myself up to new friendships, ones that continue to richly bless my life to this day.

Friend, you may be dwelling on what you think you lack in life. Well, let me burst your bubble and perhaps, speak some hard truth: you lack nothing. Absolutely nothing!

Don’t believe me? No problem. Check out a recent Instagram post by a fellow writer, Sam DeCosmo: https://www.instagram.com/p/CFfoJlpgqCj/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

Now if you’re still wrestling, I invite you to participate in a quick challenge.

Set aside 5 minutes to write down at least three things you’re grateful for today.

When you finish, ask yourself the following questions:

• What was challenging about creating my gratitude list?
• How has shifting my thinking (from lack to gratitude) impacted my attitude or mood?
• What steps can I take today to integrate gratitude into my daily routine?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

XOXO,

M.

If you’re interested in learning more about managing your lifestyle, love, leadership, and loyalties to God, self, and others, click here: https://mekelharrisphd.com/.