This year, I discovered the beauty of weight, and I’ve never felt better.

Sounds crazy, right? Let me explain by sharing the year’s happenings thus far …

• February 2020 - I first learned of a public health crisis, what later became known as COVID-19, followed by significant shifts in society
• March 2020 - my dad died, catapulting me, yet again, into a grief abyss, all while I worked full-time, engaged in relationships, and managed my day-to-day affairs
• May 2020 - George Floyd’s horrific death re-surfaced feelings of anger and doubts about the possibility of living as a Black woman in a fair society
• August 2020 - I willfully quit my full-time job to pursue my own practice, writing, and entrepreneurial endeavors

To say the least, it’s been an unsettling year!

And with each of the shifts, I found myself gripping my toes into life’s ‘sand,’ desperately seeking solid footing.

Have you ever felt like life won’t stand still long enough for you to get your bearings?

It seemed as if every time I got a grip, something else happened. Truth be told, even as I write this, life continues to shift.

Let’s face it. In the midst of a global health pandemic, as well as social and political upheaval, each of our personal lives is shifting. Some slowly and others, with lightning speed.

We’re adapting to teaching children at home while we work. Adapting to lingering social distance requirements while yearning for connection. Adapting to ever-changing narratives about health risks. Learning to negotiate relationships and communicate in ways that better uplift and join people, rather than tear them apart.

Oh, the exhaustion we’ve faced! And we still have two more months to go!

Yet I recognize the beauty of weight.

By the end of July, the restlessness I sensed around me resulted in my experiencing physical restlessness, particularly at night. Daylight and its busy-ness afforded me enough focus to ground myself. At night, however, my body, overwhelmed with thoughts of the present and concerns about the future, often came alive.

The result … sleep challenges.

While others drifted to sleep to rest their bodies, minds, and spirits, I enjoyed midnight thought parties that left me vigorously dancing underneath the sheets. Frankly, I’ve never partied as much as I have this year!

After a month of experiencing this, I made the decision to purchase a weighted blanket, something I hadn’t thought about since I worked with children experiencing emotional and behavioral dysregulation in the late 1990s.

And after a two-week search for the ‘perfect’ one, I landed on a 20-pounder from Baloo: https://balooliving.com/. No worries … I’m not a Baloo affiliate and am not receiving any endorsement to share their products.

All I’ll say is that I truly appreciate the beauty of weight.

I won’t get into the science of it all, but the effects my blanket’s had on my sleep have been tremendous. No more midnight dancing. No more mind racing. Just pure and simple rest.

But that’s not the only reason I’ve embraced the beauty of weight.

The weight of 2020 has reminded me that while I may bend, I won’t break.

Friends, the beauty of weight is that it serves as a reminder. It awakens you. It can ground you.

How might what you’re facing anchor you?

It took me 10 months to recognize that the weight of this year strengthened me. I wonder if the same may be true for you.

Take a moment to recount the weight of 2020, taking note of not only what you may perceive as problematic, but also the way you’ve grown.

You may be surprised to discover the beauty of weight around and within you.

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XOXO,

M.