How to Show Up for Someone Who's Grieving -

How to Show Up for Someone Who’s Grieving

  1. Mekel Harris says:

    Wow, thank you for sharing your thoughts on my blog post. I respect the thoughtfulness and courage with which you commented. Grief is messy, leaving those who experience it left to cope with the initial loss, as well as subsequent losses. I hope you continue to explore ways to help yourself and seek support along the way. I’m happy to be a small part of that!

  2. Shannon says:

    I see this blog is a little old and maybe people won’t see my comment. This is ABSOLUTELY what I needed to see and hear as I begin to move forward with my healing; wishing I had found this sooner. I am the person who is there, physically, after friends or family encounter a loss. When my own mom died I was there to set up the bills to be paid and show my technically challenged stepdad how to do so. I was there, brought meals, helped him change some things that he needed to do to get through and got him to his doctor to help with depression and huge anxiety that hit him hard. When I figured he was on track with things, he then expected me to continue to be there and almost do everything. And I should have gotten a therapist for myself.
    Shortly after getting through the “hands on” part of that, my best friend from 5th grade (over 40 years) lost her husband suddenly to a heart attack. She had grief with guilt as she had given him CPR. Of course I was there for her, how could I not be? She couldn’t function enough to set up the funeral and could barely make decisions even for the prayer card. She was not safe to drive, so I was taking her places. They were close to finishing the remodel of their home to put it on the market. I was there to listen, or sit in silence, or talk. I dragged my tool bag over and together with some friends we got the house on the market and sold.
    What I need to get through now is that, both of these people seemed to need me and I showed up. I don’t want kudos, I wouldn’t have expected any less of myself. They both moved out of state, my friend right after selling her house. My stepdad about 3 years after my mom died. Neither of them said good bye and I just looked back at my notes to them which both say they “ROBBED” me of my feelings, my closure to the chapter. Then I got/get to grieve more loss. I get to deal with my anger because not only did they rob me, but they never even addressed my feelings.
    This makes me not want to show up for anyone else – ever. But I will. Your blog though, will help me keep myself in check, maybe set more boundaries and go in with a little bit of a shield.

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